BEING ONE’S OWN MISTRESS OR MASTER


I have been swamped by work, and it is all my own doing. I am like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice that has summoned energies that can no longer be controlled! Instead of finishing what I was working on, I had the temerity and ambition to send off more work to publishers, work that hasn’t been completed, and they all expressed interest. This had put me under enormous stress till I had to withdraw from all deadlines and remember that I am my own Mistress. I had to chase everyone out of my private house, send them packing, so to speak, so that I could regain my peace, the most precious of all things. The fact that Robin Williams committed suicide the past week, and yesterday being Donald’s 21st death anniversary (from suicide) has been very sobering. Being in the world is dangerous business. You become a showman, a public person, and you have to continue to be one because of the demands put on you by your success. You are no longer your own person with your own needs and pace. You have to hide who you are in favor of who you seem or appear to be. What a horrible way to live! What a squandering of the precious, precious gift of life!

so, in my withdrawal , I resume my blog. It’s not that I’m not working on my books — I am; but in an unstressed, I am my own mistress, sort of way.

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