FIRST PARA OF MY CHAPTER ON REST IN THE WRITING WARRIOR


TRUSTING REST

I have suffered greatly
because of an assumption, stupid as it may sound when I write it down, that I
should be somehow writing all the time. I have visualized other writers in
their garrets, bachelors and spinsters who have sacrificed their lives to their
art, writing day and night, producing reams and reams that make them famous, if
not rich.  I have flagellated myself for
not being more like them, for not being more disciplined, for wasting time, for
spending any of it away from my desk. For years this tug of war made me an
insomniac. I would not let myself rest or sleep in peace, I would not let
myself be. Anything other than writing was a waste of time.  I felt the tug of the hook in my mouth any
time I was away from the desk. All in all, I would have to admit that I have
expended more time on regret than on writing.

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