LEAVING THE HOUSE IN THE BRAIN


There’s excitement and peace in my heart this morning, a thrilling at the sight of my messy study, waiting to be tidied up, the books put away. The colors return to my soul as it turns upon the axis of the earth, and the wet, soggy monsoon turns to warm, brilliant sunshine upon the trees and the water. I feel gloriously returned to matter, this, here, now, life in all its immanent materiality and presence. I have left the house in my brain and returned to my body and my senses. Yes, this feels right. Not ‘I think’ but ‘I feel.’ I feel therefore I am. And this is what my depression did: it expelled me from thinking about life into living it.
Only as much thought as is needed to survive. Not survive through thought but survive through the heart, the body, and all its pulses. 

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