NOTHING MUST BE A PROBLEM


It seems very clear to me as I go into the next phase of my life that I pay attention to the micro decisions I make throughout the day, which can only be based upon an aware estimation of the state of my body. My needs revolve around a vigilance to ensure that I am relaxed and at rest most of the time; and to make decisions conducive to this goal. To play backgammon when I need simply to lie down and shut my eyes, or get into tasks because I think that is what I ought to do, is very counterproductive, if not destructive. There must be at once a greater awareness of and detachment from my emotions. For the last few days I have been aware of my need for more socializing, and when I am feeling that way I forget how little I enjoy common interactions when I have them. My life has followed this path; I have made decisions that have isolated me more and more. To ignore this cry of the soul would not be productive, either, so I called up Perry and the kids and hearing Ajoojh say “I love you Masi” did it for me. I tried to make some kirtan, was hopeless, and had to get up and let it be instead of feeling bad at my inadequacy. I must flow and float above my life, as it were, engaged with it, but detached. I see no other way.
I sometimes get overwhelmed at the multitude of my projects, of how little energy I have for all of them, but must learn to do what I can in between cushions of leisure and being, and be kind to myself. In short, nothing at all must be a problem.

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